My name is James, I am 63 years old. I am a childhood and adult survivor of multiple

traumas and abuses, physical and emotional. I was sexually molested by my uncle

when I was between the ages of 3 and 5 years. I was physically and emotionally

abused by my father until I ran away from home at the age of 13. I had gotten into

trouble with the law in my efforts to survive on my own between the ages of 14 and 17,

befriended by criminals and ending up in prison. I always felt like I just needed to do

something different, learn something that I hadn’t been taught, make a greater effort to

improve myself. I bought self help books and CD’s, listened to therapists, attended

psychotherapy for 5 plus years. Attended CBT therapy for another 5 years, kept going

to groups and seminars and reading and learning as much as I could about my

narcisstic father and about my trauma bonding and identifying triggers and practicing

strategies to help me cope with and change my anxiety and depression and feelings of

low self esteem, low self worth and emptiness. I had developed an anxious attachment

style, where I needed constant reassurance from my partner in order to feel secure. I

thought so lowly about myself that in my early 20’s if I started dating a girl and she really

liked me, I would sabotage the relationship because I felt that if she was accepting of

me, there must be something seriously wrong with her. I lived a very self critical, over

achieving lifestyle. In all, I spent some 18 years in conventional therapies. While the

therapies were helpful in the moment, the next day I would go back to the same

patterns of behaviour and wonder why.

In my past 3 serious relationships I’ve had 2 marriages and the last one we were living

together and engaged, about to be married. All 3 women exhibited the same narcisstic

tendencies as my father. They attempted and were successful at separating me from

anyone who might challenge their narrative (version of reality). All 3 love bombed me,

gave me everything I had never dreamed I’d have, love, intimacy, sex, security, support.

However, in all 3 cases, it was an act, a performance, to lull me into feeling safe and

secure so I could be more easily manipulated, controlled,I didn’t want to see the red

flags because the love bombing felt so good, that I allowed myself to be taken

advantage of.

All the years of CBT and EFT and conventional psychotherapy just flew out the window

when the next beautiful narcisstic woman came along. It was like I was addicted to the

love and intimacy and when I didn’t have it, I was lost, felt alone and worthless and

undesirable.

In my last relationship, I began to see the red flags, though I couldn’t stop myself

completely from being sucked in yet again, this time I was gifted the insight to see that

she was not being honest, that she was compartmentalizing me into strict patterns of

behaviour in order to control me. She would tell some people one story and then me

another and in order to control her conflicting narrative, she would drive a wedge

between myself and the others so that we would never be comparing notes. As long as

there was no challenge to her narrative, we got along great but as soon as I began to

question her narrative and dig deeper into the reasons for the “wedge” she would

become unglued and attack me, both physically and emotionally. It wasn’t until I realized

that I was once again completely duped by her segregation and love bombing that I

sought more CBT in the form of couples counselling. Which was fine, up until she

began to be called into question by the counsellor, at which point she refused further

counselling, saying I was fooling the counsellor with my “carefully chosen words and my

remarkable memory of conversation specifics”. She accused me of being like a lawyer

at a trial “with all my facts lined up”. When she refused to do more couples counselling, I

decided to do individual counselling. Our couples counsellor refused to see me

individually as she considered this a conflict of interest. She referred me to another

female therapist who worked in her office and I saw her. The first thing my ex asked me

after my first session with the new therapist was: did you sleep with her ? I just looked

at her and said; seriously ? So clearly I was awakened to the fact that my ex was not

emotionally stable. We broke up, she moved out and I continued to see my individual

therapist. It helped but just during the sessions. The next day I would be missing my ex

and in the depths of despair, loneliness and anxious attachement symptoms flooding my

mind, body and soul. She, my ex, would call me late at night to come over and of course

I would. The next morning she would be saying things like: I don’t think I can get past

all that’s happened, I think we should just not be together. Until the next night and the

phone call. It was her way of controlling me without having to change her narrative with

her friends and family. She made it clear that I was welcome to visit but that I couldn’t

be seen with her. And I was powerless to change it.

Then I happened to get an email from Cardinal Points Clinic, regarding Alan Housain’s

hypnotherapy. It was compelling, though I admit I was skeptical at first. I attended my

first session and had amazing results within the first week. For the first time in over a

year I was able to feel comfortable in my own skin. For the last three days I have felt

little if any anxiety. It’s been so transformative that this lack of anxiety actually feels

strange to me. I blocked my ex, removed her from all my accounts and social media

and felt empowered instead of abandoned.

Today I saw Alan via Zoom and it was another amazing session. All the years of CBT

and EFT and conventional psychotherapy were not worthless, they allowed me to

understand on a conscious level and process that information, come to terms with what

has happened to me all my life. But they didn’t change it, I was still a shaking, insecure,

anxiety ridden guy the next day. But two sessions of hypnotherapy and I actually feel

different in my body. More comfortable in myself. I have a level of self confidence that I

have not known before.

This works. I am so grateful. Thank you Alan.